January 29, 2009

For Mom

You believed.
You believed in moments not conceived.
You believed in me.

A passionate spirit.
Boundless and open.
A light in your eyes,
Then, immobilized.

Vacant, broken.
Fell at the hands of
Those movements that I wouldn't see.
'Cause it was you who prayed for me so.
What have I done
To be a son to an angel?
What have I done
To be worthy?

Daylight dims leaving
Cold flourescence.
Difficult to see you in this light.
Please forgive this
Selfish question, but
What am I to say to all these ghouls tonight?

She never told a lie.
Well, might've told a lie,
But never lived one.
Didn't have a life.
Didn't have a life.
But surely saved one, so
I'm alright now,
It's time for us to let you go.

We listen to the tales and romanticise
How we follow the path of the hero.

Boast about the day when the rivers overrun,
How we'll rise to the height of our halo.

Listen to the tales as we all rationalize
Our ways into the arms of the savior.
Feigning all the trials and the tribulations.

None of us have actually been there.
Not like you.

Ignorant siblings in the congregation.
Gather round spewing sympathy.
Spare me.

None of them can even hold a candle up to you.
Blinded by choice, these hypocrites
Won't see.

But enough about the collective Judas.
Who could deny you were the one who illuminated
Your little piece of the divine?

And this little light of mine, a gift you passed on to me,
I'm gonna let it shine
To guide you on your way.

You're going home.

Oh, what are they gonna do when the lights go down,
Without you to guide them all to Zion?
What are they gonna do when the rivers overrun,
Other than huddle and tremble incessantly?

High is the way,
But our lives are upon the ground.
You are the light and the way
They'll only read about.
I only pray heaven knows
When to lift you out.

Ten thousand days in the fire is long enough.
You're going home.

You're the only one who can hold your head up high,
Shake your fists at the gates saying
"I've come home now!
Fetch me the Spirit, the Son and the Father,
Tell them their pillar of faith has ascended.

"It's time now,
My time now!
Give me my...
Give me my wings!"

You are the light, the way,
That they will only read about.

Set as I am in my ways and my arrogance.
Burden of proof tossed upon the believers.
You were my witness, my eyes, my evidence.
Mary Lee, unconditional one.

Daylight dims leaving cold flourescence.
Difficult to see you in this light.
Please forgive this bold suggestion.
Should you see your maker's face tonight,
Look him in the eye and tell him,
Never lived a lie, never took a life,
But surely saved one.

It's time for you to bring me home.

Many thanks to the originator of these beautiful words, Maynard James Keenan.

I love you, Mom, and I miss you every day.